英語翻譯中文笑話
笑話是指以一句短語或一個小故事讓說話者和聽者之間覺得好笑，或是產生幽默感，另外一個行動（動作）型的笑話是以動作影響人的視覺及觀感，而感到好小，我們一起看看下面的英語翻譯中文笑話吧！
英語翻譯中文笑話【1】
The Umbrella
A gentleman staying in a hotel left his umbrella in the hall, but he had put on the handle a card on which was written: "This umbrella belongs to a gentleman who can lift up a hundred pounds. I shall be back in ten minutes." When he came back, he found, instead of his umbrella, another card on which was written,"This card belongs to a man who can run tenmiles an hour. I shall not come back."
雨傘
一位住在旅館的紳士把他的雨傘放在了大廳里，不過他在傘柄上系了一張卡片，上面寫道，“此傘屬于一位能舉百磅的紳士。我將在十分鐘內回來。當他回來時，發現雨傘已經不翼而飛，取而代之的是另一張卡片，上面寫著：“此卡是一位一小時能跑十英里的人留下的，我將永遠不回來了。”
英語翻譯中文笑話【2】
The fine-furniture store where I work has been in business since the 1920s.Recently I received a call from a woman who wanted to replace some chairs from a dining set purchased from us in the 1930s.I assured her we could help and sought the assistance of the office manager. "You'll never believe this one, " I told him." I just got a call from a customer who bought some chairs from us in the 1930s. "
Before I could finish repeating her request, he interrupted and said, "Don't tell me she hasn't received them yet!"
我所工作的精品商店是從二十年代以來就營業的。最近我接到一個婦女的電話。她想換一套餐具中的一些椅子。這套餐具她是在三十年代從我們這兒買的。我向她保證說我們可以幫忙并向部門經理提了出來。“你永遠也不會相信，”我對他說，“我剛接到一個顧客的電話，她在三十年代從我們這里買了一些椅子。” 我還沒來得及說她的要求，經理就打斷了我的話：“不要告訴我她到現在還沒收到貨！”
英語翻譯中文笑話【3】
Pulling alongside our drive-up bank window, a woman was not happy with her position. So she backed up and pulled closer. Still not satisfied, she backed away and tried again. After five attempts, she finally parked the car and rolled down her window. I greeted her with a simple "Good morning".
"Good morning," she replied cheerfully. "I'm going to have to use this drive-up all the time. It's so easy!"
一位婦女把車沿著我們銀行的驅車直達窗口開過來，可她并不滿意于她停的位置。因此她倒車，靠得更近點。還是不滿意，倒車，再來。五次努力后，終于她把車停下來，搖下車窗。我簡單地問候她一聲“早上好”。
“早上好，”她愉快地回答說，“以后我都要使用這種驅車直達窗口。真是如此的方便。”
英語翻譯中文笑話【4】
lifetime warranty 終身保修
After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he'd originally wanted. So we exhumed the body and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. "What's so special about this coffin?" I asked the funeral director. He replied, "It has a lifetime warranty."
在將母親下葬9個月后，當地殯儀館的一個客戶終于攢夠了錢去買那副他早就相中的價值不菲的棺材了。他把母親的棺材挖了出來，將尸體轉移到了那副新的.鋼制棺材中。“這副棺材有什么特別？”，我問葬禮的承辦人。他回答說，“這種棺材終生保修。
英語翻譯中文笑話【5】
Do You Know My Work?
One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their nigh clothes. Two men stood outside and looked at the fire.
“Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don’t think of money when they’re afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire， the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could find.No one will be poorer because I took them.” “You don’t know my work，” said the other. “What is your work?” “I’m a policeman.
“Oh!” cried the first man. He thought quickly and said，“And do you know my work?”“No，”said the policeman. “I’m a writer. I’m always telling stories about things that never happened.”
【譯文】
你知道我是干什么的嗎?
一天晚上，一家旅館失火，住在這家旅館里的人穿著睡 衣就跑了出來，趣味英語：笑話三則。 兩個人站在外面，看著大火。
“在我出來之前，”其中一個說：“我跑進一些房間，找到了一大筆錢。人在恐懼中是不會想到錢的。如果有人把紙幣留在火里，火就會把它燒成灰燼。所以我把我所能找到的鈔票都拿走了。沒有人會因為我拿走它們而變得更窮。” “你不知道我是干什么的。”另一個說。 “你是干什么的?”
“我是警察。”
“噢!”第一個人喊了一聲。他靈機一動，說：“那你知道我是干什么的?”“不知道。”警察說。 “我是個作家。我總是愛編一些從未發生過的故事。”
英語翻譯中文笑話【6】
Who is the laziest
Father:Well,Jack,I talked with your teacher today .And now I want to ask you a question ,Who is the laziest person inyour class ?
Jack:I don`t know ,father.
Father:Oh,think!When other boys and girls are reading and wirting ,who sits quietly and only watch how other people word?
Jack:Our teacher ,father.
【譯文】
誰是最懶惰的
爸爸：杰克，我今天已經和你的老師談過了，現在我想問你，誰是你們班上最懶的人?
杰克：我不知道，爸爸
爸爸：你再好好想想，當別的同學都在讀書寫字的時候，誰楞在那兒僅僅是看著其他人?
杰克：是我們的老師，爸爸
英語翻譯中文笑話【7】
What Is a Traitor?
Young hopeful：“Father，what is a traitor in politics?”
Father(a veteran politician)：“A traitor is a man who leaves our party and goes over to the other one.”
Young hopeful：“Well then，what is a man who leaves his party and comes over to yours?”
Father：“A convert，my son.”
【譯文】
什么叫叛徒?
有希望的青年人：“父親，什么叫政治叛徒?”
父親(一位老資格的政治家)：“叛徒指的是離開我們黨而加入到另一個黨的人，中小學英語《趣味英語：笑話三則》。”
有希望的青年人：“那么，離開他的黨而加入到我們黨的人又叫什么呢?”
父親：“叫改變信仰者。我的兒子。”
英語翻譯中文笑話【8】
To Borrow an Ox
Once upon a time, there lived a rich man, but he didn't know any words. One day, one of his friends wanted to borrow an ox from him, so he wrote a note and asked his servant to take it to this rich man. After the servant gave the note to the rich man, he pretended to be reading it and after a while, he said, OK, I know. Go and tell your master, I'll go myself shortly.
借公牛一用
從前，有個人很富有，但他不識字。 一天，他的一位朋友想向他借一頭公牛，便寫了個條，讓仆人送到富人那里。仆人把條子給了富人。富人便假裝看了一會兒，然后說道：好啦，我知道了。回去告訴你的主人，我馬上自己過去。
英語翻譯中文笑話【9】
A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. He’s telling a dumb- blonde joke when a young platinum-haired beauty jumps to her feet.
一位口技表演者用放在他膝上的玩具娃娃練習表演。他在跟金發碧眼的玩具娃娃說笑話的時候，一位白色頭發的年輕美女突然一躍而起。
"What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?" she demands. "What does hair color have to do with my worth as a human being?" Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer out an apology.
“你有什么權利來為金發美女定型？”她質問到，“頭發的顏色跟我作為人的價值有什么關系？” 口技表演者感到了不安，他結結巴巴地準備道歉。
"You keep out of this!" she yells. "I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!"
“你少管！”她喊道，“我在跟你膝蓋上的蠢東西說話！”
英語翻譯中文笑話【10】
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH(女巫)!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. If only men would listen.
一個男人在一條陡峭狹窄的山路上駕車，一個女人相向駕車而來。他們相遇時，那個女的從窗中伸出頭來叫到：“豬！！”那個男的立即從窗中伸出頭來回敬道：“女巫！！”他們繼續前行。這個男的在下一個路口轉彎時，撞上了路中間的一頭豬。要是這個男的能聽懂那個女人的意思就好了。
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